we have officially lost it.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
