My brain says no but my pants say off.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
