Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
