I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
