Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
