Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
