she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my being single is dangerous.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
