How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
