About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
