Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
