Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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