its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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