if i can run in heels then i can drive
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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