Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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