More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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