Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
All the doctor said was why
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
