My friends, they love my intelligence
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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