I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
this just has baby written all over it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have fence marks all over my body
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
