so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
