somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
