So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my shit smells like andre
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
