i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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