Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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