I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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