She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
