I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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