I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
