I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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