i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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