I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
