week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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