Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
