I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
