He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
