is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
