Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize