I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i think my cat just said my name.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
