I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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