I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
if only i could text you this smell
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
