are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
