hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
