Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ketchup is God's man juice
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
