office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
