All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
