I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
How's work?
Spinning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
