Your face is a jimmy john
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
