and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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