Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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