your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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