how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
