Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
