whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
